A CHANGE OF HEART

Well, the beach was lovely except for the chill in the air and the bulky sweater that hid my bikini for the day. Still, can't complain. I'm in California! Well, I'm doing the show in June!! Yippers!!! So excited and scared at the same time. It's all good. I am in the throes of mapping out my 8 week journey. Yeah, it's usually 12 but I know that I can do it in 8. I am all ready pretty lean but am still making some small gains in size :-) May 6th, is day one of Lean Out. Which means that Cardio will have to become my new best friend to help me shuttle around some extra fat that is still hanging onto my hips! I'm not gonna be a hamster on a wheel, though. 30 minutes in the morning, every other day for the first week and access my body after that. As I get closer to showtime, the cardio will increase but I want to make sure I'm not losing too much size too early. Am also doing a modified carb cycle diet, as we speak, and THAT seems to be working out for me. I will explain carb cycling a little later as well as other things I have learned along the way. Who knows, they might be useful to someone! I am enjoying the learning process so far. I get frustrated sometimes because I have read SO MUCH INFORMATION!!! My brain starts to shutdown and won't let anything else in! Then, I will look at the clock and it's 11 pm and I'm falling asleep! It's no wonder!! Can't wait to "study" some more tomorrow! I'm doing this all on my own and am elated and petrified. The main thing I am finding is the science behind a Figure Competition. Well, I think there's a science to it. Have I peaked your interest?? Can't wait to write all about it on this blog o' mine! Well, it's 11:30 and I'm sleepy!! Out :-)

MY STORY SO FAR!

I should call this post The Hard Gainers Lament! It has been a long road!! I started this training odyssey back in September. I know there has been changes in my body but I was kinda hoping for something a little more drastic. You see, I am one of the few who loves muscle! I think muscle on a woman is beautiful. I even have respect for the Large Marge bodybuilders. But MORE impressed with those who came about it naturally. Not that many! But there are a a few.

I have always been slight of stature. A more kind way of saying, a skinny ass. When I was pregnant, I really didn't gain as much as I heard I would. Probably because I was Vegan for half of it and then Pescetarian the rest. Am STILL Pescetarian. My diet has always been pretty darn clean, but to gear up for a Figure Competition even in the off-season, you really need to maintain 6 to 7 meals a day. Literally, you have to eat every 3 hours.
 I had always been a grazer. Coffee was my pre-breakfast and MAYBE a piece of toast with butter and marmite. Yes, marmite. A brown yeast spread that if your from the states, you have to acquire a taste. Being that the hubs is British, its a breakfast mainstay! I have to admit, I've acquired a taste and I likey :-)

I STARTED to put on weight after Breezy was born and I was nursing. Yep, it was the OTHER way around. I thought I was supposed to LOSE the baby weight while breast feeding but no!! I just ate more! When Breezy was 6 months my mother died and my milk dried up soon after. Sadness and anger do a whole lot of stuff to your body, your diet,  if you let it. I did. I kind of just forgot about my body and just let it be. My big regret is not weighing myself before this journey but I know I was unhealthy. I ate pretty well, as far as always eating veggies, fish and brown rice. But I loved my fried eggs on buttered toast with a side of sautéed mushrooms and baked beans. Oh yes, and a glass of OJ. Then I would drink coffee for a few hours because that was filling to me. I seriously think I was shocking my body the whole time. I would eat so healthy in some aspects but boy did I indulge in cheat meals!! There was no set food schedule in our house but we always had a big breakfast and dinner and we would graze in between. Metabolism what?? Mine had slowly gone into hibernation! Slowed down metabolism = fat gain. How I longed for the day when I could wear my pre-pregnancy clothes. Even feel good about being in a bikini! 2 years had gone by and I had done NOTHING to lose the weight that I felt I was accumulating. There needed to be a change. It also didn't help, that at our beautiful apartment complex, there is a fully functioning gym. The funny thing is, our dining table looks right into it. Yes, we used to get a laugh at the poor suckers in there sweating while we were enjoying our mayo covered fish and vino. Yes, mayo really makes the fish nice and juicy! Ummm. we use yogurt now. I digress.
I was tired of feeling tired and depressed about my body. So my journey began. Slowly.

I started eating more meals and doing some light weights. Upper body circuit and lower body circuit to get my muscles used to, well, being used! For me, I can't work out, to just work out! There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. A carrot? I decided to enter a Figure Competition. If I had a date, a deadline. I know I could meet it. I have been working my ass off ever since. Well, I say I've been working my ass off but I KNOW I can do better! June 30th is the show. So fast approaching. Too fast. I have gained muscle and dropped fat. I feel great as far as THAT accomplishment but, I wish I was a little larger.

It has been an amazing journey. There are highs and lows. I never thought I would love going to the gym as much as I do now. Somedays, like today, my body aches from a Leg workout I did two days ago! I have to tell myself, progress baby! Somedays, I feel down because I want my body to transform overnight! It takes time and I have to be patient. I just have to tell myself that it WILL happen. Every once in a while I will indulge in a cheat meal. I just make sure I never have a cheat DAY. My body feels amazing and my pre-pregnancy clothes thank me. :-)

Now, its time to really crank it up and build some major mass! I have gone from light weights and working out 4 days a week to heavy weights, giant sets and 21's (I'll explain that in another post. Both are freakin' killer!) and working out 6 days a week. Now, that's not to say everyone should go that often its just that my body really responds to that schedule.

Will I do the show in June? Maybe? There's still time. Every federation of Bodybuilding/Figure has a specific type that they are looking for. The show in June is an INBA/ABA show. They look for leaner girls. There is another one in August that is an NPC division show. There look is more athletic and, well, Large Marge. The Figure girls that I look up to were all NPC girls that turned pro with the IFBB. NPC and IFBB go hand in hand. IFBB is the big daddy. Hands down. Well, I have some decisions to make. I'm thinking to do the INBA cause I am all ready pretty lean but do have some muscle separation. It would be a great learning experience and will prepare me for next years competitions. Yep, I'm in this for the long haul. NPC next year? Yeah, another goal to set for myself.

Well. better go before I ramble on even more.
Will post some pics but need to get a little tan going on! Thanks Emma for that tip!! Your right. It really DOES make a difference!!

Oh yeah, I'm going to the beach tomorrow with the hubs, Breezy and our dog Belle . . . in a bikini!!!! Now THAT'S a first!!